Meet our coaches

scott cone

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Hey, I'm Scott. I used to think I was a fraud and failure and I'd always be that way. But, I've learned I'm really a beloved son of God and that I am crowned with glory and honor. It's taken years and a lot of hard work to be able to write and say these words with confidence and a joyful assurance.

 

For the past seven years, I've been on a journey to discovering my best self as a man living a life of sexual, emotional and relational well-being and maturity. Prior to starting this journey, I was defeated, ashamed, isolated, kept a lot of secrets and resigned to living with my impulsive and seemingly uncontrollable sexual thoughts and behavior rest of my life. I'd tried every typical "Christian" solution and nothing ever worked.

Every day, like you and every other man following Jesus,  I am engaged in a fight. I don't have it all figured out. I've had some victories and I've had my share of losses and heartache.  I learned that in all my struggles, God is working them for my good, that I'm deeply flawed but even more deeply loved and that I could heal from the wounds and mistakes of my past and didn't have to stay locked in a pattern of feeling bad > acting out to feel good > feeling shame, self-loathing and regret > and repeating this cycle over and over. 

If you're living in isolation, keeping secrets and struggling with unwanted sexual compulsions, I want to invite you to come on a journey with us to sexcess. It starts by coming to see God as a good, kind and compassionate Father who, on our way back from the whorehouse having blown our entire inheritance on hookers in a matter of months, runs to us and greets us...not with shame or stones or scorn...but with hugs and kisses; a robe to cover our nakedness; a ring for our fingers and a feast!  I invite you to discover that repentance is really about returning to the party God wants to throw for us...one filled with more joy and delight and pleasure than this dying world could ever offer. 

rudi van wyk

Hey, I'm Rudi and I have been on a journey that I never have thought would be possible. My childhood was one of intense suffering and abuse. I became an expert in compartmentalizing and spiritualizing my trauma and convincing myself I'd put all my sexual struggles behind me. In reality, I was as full of self-contempt as I was self-righteousness.

Unfortunately, nobody can hold a pretend life together forever and 13 years into my marriage I found myself in a chaotic whirlwind of disaster and self-harm. I was confused because “I was healed”, right?  WRONG! In reality, I was trapped in church  “purity-culture” and struggling under a lot of lust management tactics that only left me feeling more subject to my unhealthy urges and filled with guilt, shame and self-hatred.

 

I entered recovery and came to learn how I was set-up to struggle with unwanted sexual desires and why I was doing the things I was doing. The Lord has brought me to a place where I could be honest about the harm done to me and how to engage the stories of my past heartache with courage, curiosity and kindness instead of shame and self-contmpet. He surely makes all things work for our good and what the enemy plans for evil, God uses for our good and His glory. 

If you're a man who loves Jesus but who struggles with pornography, the shame of childhood sexual abuse, unwanted same-sex attraction or sexual addiction, you are not alone and there is great hope. Come out of the shadows and into the light of fellowship with other serious men on the same journey of hope, joy and integrity. Change is possible. It won't be easy. But, I promise you this, it will be good!

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